From One Wiser Than I

or is it "me"? Sadly, I'm a grammar nut and I still have to look up that rule.

I wanted to share with you all part of a prayer that really pried me off center. It's from a book of prayers by Ted Loder called Guerrillas of Grace. There isn't a prayer contained in that book that does not move my soul to tears, to action, to grace.

Pry Me Off Dead Center

O persistent God,
deliver me from assuming your mercy is gentle.
Pressure me that I may grow more human,
not through the lessening of my struggles,
but through an expansion of them
that will undamn me
and unbury my gifts.
Deepen my hurt
until I learn to share it
and myself
openly,
and my needs honestly.
Sharpen my fears
until I name them
and release the power I have locked in them.
Accentuate my confusion
until I shed those grandiose expectations
that divert me from the small, glad gifts
of the now and the here and the me....
...
O persistent God,
let how much it all matters
pry me off dead center
so if I am moved inside
to tears
or sighs
or screams
or smiles
or dreams,
they will be real
and I will be in touch with who I am
and who you are...



The Lord has most assuredly pried me off dead center in these past few months. But I would be at fault beyond words if I didn't tell you how beautiful it is to be moved. A good friend asked the other day how I was doing. I answered honestly that some days I woke up, threw a fit, and wanted everything back the way it was. But those days are getting further and further apart from each other.

I told her most days, I wake up and hear the Lord say "kid, dance with me".

JJ Heller sings about the wonder of invisible love. And it is a powerfully weird thing at times. But real nonetheless. The days when I lay aside my longing and pick up the hands of God, those days are good.

Part of Loder's prayer gets my heart each time. By the expansion of my struggles, I pray to unbury my gifts. Unbury them, He has!

I'll be away for the next week-ish getting to do what I love: wrangling the press and covering amazing stories. This one tells itself. 25 friends, teachers, students, people pried off their centers, are biking from TN to Austin, Texas. It will take 6 days and 1200 miles, but they will do it in honor of Catie. Along with having a cell phone glued to my ear in attempts to get media coverage, I'll be blogging the personal part of this ride. Feel free to follow along at vivacatie.blogspot.com

Be warned! The Lord just might pry you off center too!