A few nights ago, I had the true honor of sharing a cup of coffee (and a cup of grace) with two of my beautiful friends. The two of them are married, one with a child and the other struggling to have children.
As I sat there, listening to the things they are praying, I fought the urge to say "But you both have your match! You have someone to love every night. You have your Forever."That's when I realized the three of us are still seeking- one a job, one a child, and me, some moments it overwhelms me the thing I seek- the restoration of a dream.
We were all seeking something.
We all seek.
The beauty about what binds the three of us together is the seeking of God. My sacred scriptures tell me that I will find Him when I seek Him with all my heart. In the midst of dreams just beyond our reach, these beautiful friends of mine awakened my soul to the deep and purposeful need we all have to seek peace, Grace, love, to seek the face of the One who created.
These past few weeks have forced me to lean. Forced me to seek the face of the Almighty. Forgive me for my honesty, but I would have rather not. I know that I am learning and growing so much in Him. But in the deepest parts of my soul, I would still rather not be here in this place of my heart.
Don't get me wrong, I love the way He has wrapped His arms around me, the way He lets me scream and cry and beg for a redo, the way He hears my earnest prayers to change time and take me back to that day and let me try it again- this time with grace on my tongue and in my heart. I've told God countless times this week that He created the laws of space and time and He can bend them.
That's how much I've wanted this miracle.
But He isn't bending the laws of space and time. He isn't letting me go back to that moment in the car when everything changed. He isn't giving me a redo.
He is letting me know every day, sometimes every minute, how much I am loved.
And He's reminding me, over coffee, that we all continue to seek. This side of glory our hearts will be restless.
Which makes me feel not so alone.
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From the one who stops the leaks:
ReplyDeleteItems for discussion:
1. "The Lord is my shepard; I shall not want."
Psalms 23:1
1a. Have you discovered the differences between problems and facts? Problems are things we can do something about; we can solve problems. Facts are things we can do nothing about; therfore we do well not to worry about them. We should apply energy only to those things we can change.
Item 1 staight out of the Maxwell Leadership Bible.
2. Strength to Strength
"If you walk in My statutes and observe My commandments..." Leviticus 26:3
2a. Phatt Gram synopsis of "Journey and destination", Weekly Portion, Internnational Jerusalem Post, May 16-22, 2008
List you most currently evident top 3 strengths.Are the listings part of your journey and progressing you toward you destination?
3. I hope I have done this correctly as this communication journey is new to me.
Keep seeking and you will keep finding!
ReplyDeleteAnd as the late, great Tupac Shakur would say, "Keep Ya Head Up"!
You are definitely not alone! I think we are all seeking... I just have to remember to choose to seek Him daily. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete